As I look forward to the impending start of my PhD course in September, there are mixed feelings. The negative emotions of moving away from close friends, moving away from the countryside, jumping into an unknown venture with unknown people, the reality of a 3-year commitment which would limit me to one place even if the experience is detrimental, the anticipation of moving house and balancing finances. The positive emotions spring from moving closer to my family, moving closer to some other good friends, the potential of a more flexible schedule, doing something I am very interested in and the potential doors this opportunity can open. I am filled with thankfulness that I am in a position to be able to take this up.
However, I cannot but help think about many questions constantly on my mind.
- Will I get on with my colleagues?
- Will I have time to do all my experiments?
- Will my research go to plan?
- How will I cope when it doesn’t go to plan?
- Will my supervisor be interested in developing me as a researcher, or use me as a tool to improve their reputation to my detriment?
- Have I misunderstood and not accurately pictured the life of a PhD student?
- Will my success as a scientist be rated by the quality of research I produce or the charisma and likeability I express in the lab?
As someone who tends to look to the future, often forgetting the moment, this question is frequently brought to mind:
Where do we draw the line between planning for the future and borrowing troubles from the future?
It will be interesting to look back on this post a few months, or years, down the line, and really evaluate what was an irrational fear, and what was worthy consideration that required foreknowledge and advanced planning.
In all this, I find my comfort in God from the following verses in scripture, that He has placed there just for times like these.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
Matthew 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
After all, tomorrow is not promised. Let me live for today.